After Dad died, mum really was never the same. She tried to put on a brave
face, although she was active in our lives it wasn't enough for her. She was
really hurting inside and broken hearted. Well, how can anyone be with someone
for 44 years and not miss them? : )
One day she was helping me in the garden, K*** was happily playing with a
friend who came to stay. We were clearing away some old garden rubbish and
burning it in an old galvanised dustbin when mum decided to try and move the
bin and lifted it up by the handles. I was at the other end of the garden and
shouted to her not to, that I would do it. But she did it anyway. Then I heard
her shout out in pain. I truly believed she had burnt herself, but she was
complaining of a pain under her arm. I thought she had pulled a muscle and took
her inside while I made her a drink and made her rest. I offered to ring the
doctor for her but she said no, she would be ok.
After a few days she wasn't getting any better, and eventually agreed to see
the doctor after a lot of nagging from us girls. After examining her he told us
that he had found a lump under her armpit that needed further investigation.
When the hospital appointment came through, she was quite poorly and losing
weight quite rapidly. After numerous tests she was diagnosed with bone cancer,
and because of the rapid speed this disease was taking over her body, she was
subjected to numerous doses of radiotherapy and chemotherapy.
Despite all this, she never complained, but she was sad as she lost all her
hair. She was always proud of her mop of hair and obviously embarrassed.
We arranged to have her fitted with a wig, and when it came she was so much
happier.
She felt a little better wearing this wig, and for some strange reason,
although she was hospitalised, and had been given only a matter of months to
live, she had a new lease of life. She even began to cheer others up in the
ward, most of who were in the same position as her. Everyday when she was
having a good day, she would trim their nails, sit and read them stories, even
do their hair to help make them feel a little better, for a few weeks the whole
ward was transformed into a happier place.
My brother M* was getting married within a week, and although mum was doing all
this, she wasn't well enough to attend his wedding. So we approached the
hospital and asked if M* and his wife could bring the wedding to the hospital.
For obvious reasons they were limited to what they could do, and allowed M* and
his new wife to attend the radiotherapy ward in their wedding regalia, and
allowed them to cut the wedding cake.
The looks on peoples faces when my brother and his wife stepped out of the
limo, (which was conveniently parked about a few hundred yards away to stop mum
from seeing it, as it was a surprise for the other patients who were sitting
resting in the gardens).
M* in his all in glory, M* in her fairy tale wedding dress and long train held
by two young children from her side of the family.
Everyone cheered as they walked up the drive to the radiotherapy ward, and mum
asked what the noise was about and her face was a picture of happiness when
they walked into the ward. She really believed she wasn't going to see them on
their wedding day. She cried with happiness.
In fact we all cried, the nurses, the patients and their relatives, I think
because they were overjoyed to see their own loved ones so happy if only for an
hour.
We decorated the ward with balloons and banners. We invited the patients and
nurses that were able to join us in the celebrations. It was truly wonderful
and touching to see these people make an effort and dress up, and it made their
day. Their relatives were also there and we had a wonderful hour with the
wedding at the hospital.
After about a week mum's health deteriorated again and we all new it would not
be long before we lost her. She was moved to a hospice where she stayed for
about 2 weeks. She was asleep most of the time, due to the morphine she was
having, she was on maximum dose.
On the day she died, my brothers and sister were there with me, and although R*
and M* couldn't be by her side they were just outside.
When she finally took her last breath, I remember hearing the piped music until
then I wasn't even aware there were any music. It was Simon and Garfunkle's
"Sounds of Silence. We held her hand and we felt at peace knowing she was out
of pain.
She really looked so beautiful; she really WAS a beautiful person.
We all love and miss you so much.
We know you are happy again, being with your soulmate - Dad.
|